Today we went to this tiny museum, you probs have never heard of it. It’s called the British Museum or something.

Did you hear that? I said THE BRITISH MUSEUM. One more time perhaps?

THE BRITISH MUSEUM

aka the place where all the photos of cultural items in you texts books are taken!!!

Mum and I made a rather rash choice not to pick up a map. Instead, we walked up the stairs and just went for it! It’s quite possible we looked either super suave… a fellow visitor may have thought, “wow, those two are so super suave, no map, they must really know their stuff!” while their companion may have though “wow, look at those two dummys! They’ll be lost in under a minute.”  Contrary to what the rude, hypothetical other visitor may have thought, we did not get lost. It’s a flipping square with some extra bits. We were fine!

Note: I should mention that as Jack says, “We HAVE to go back!” No, not to the Island sillies.  We were unable to see everything in a mere SIX HOURS. We only did the upper floors. So that person looking for my very LOUD and VALID opinion on the Elgin Marbles sit down.

We made our way around the upper floors of the Museum and saw the treasures of the Sutton Hoo burial. Mum can attest I lost my shit at this point, only three rooms in. The belt buckle and cloisonné are beyond what the photos have shown me. (The Sutton Hoo treasure was a Ship burial (think Vikings) but in East Anglia where treasures reveal a diverse and cosmopolitan owner with immense wealth, so likely a king from the 6th century CE).

Travelling through time and space we found ourselves in Assyria, Persepolis, Roman Britain, the house of a person who flipping loves clocks, a sarcophagus room from ancient Egypt (side note: ew but pretty), the Levant, a Greek pottery store, King Louis XIV’s coin horde, a brief history of Japan, blah, blah, blah.

For special exhibitions we saw a really cool look at the English views of Napoleon through they eyes of popular cartoonists and sympathizers. It was very funny, calling Bonaparte Bien Farte- imagine that if you will.  Next was a study of Bark cloth, used in the pacific islands and beyond for clothing.  The wedding dress was something to behold. Finally, was the ode to Chinese calligraphy and a precious story called the Admonitions Scroll. Truly stunning.

I’d say it was pretty good. Who am I kidding, it was flipping awesome! Hire me?

Photos to come!

Rating: 5/5